Aita for not paying for an equally extravagant wedding. Like another comment said, small ceremony but big party.

Me not wanting my daughter to do an English degree is not because I'm sexist but because I want her to do something useful which she can live off instead of depending on me for the rest of her life. ago. I wish you al the best! Not to be rude, but my weekly groceries for 2 people are 200( this is all home made non organic cheapest crap maybe 15$ dedicated to snacks. However, she prompted you when she demanded you help bankroll it. Just because you have a high paying job, does not mean family can you use as an ATM. Has your fiancée ever had to deal with finances on her own? Maybe some hard numbers on how much this wedding will cost vs. For those wondering I work as a cardiologist. A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on… We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I don't want to "owe" him money because people in my family are weirdly controlling towards people that owe them, so I said once again, that it wasn't worth it. He is mad at me Dad left me a big sum of money (low 6 figures), which I'm not touching yet except for spending a small part of it on the wedding. I went to an outdoors wedding in the south where it was 102 degrees. Lets be generous and say 10$ a person per meal. NTA for not paying rent to Bianca's parents. While I agree that amount is ridiculous and you are in the right for no longer paying for the wedding/honey moon, you 1. It was a dry wedding and the only drink they served was very very very sweet tea. We've always been super close, so I'm thrilled for her, but honestly, the whole wedding planning thing has been a bit much. My mom is a real gem too. Although I would say, in later time of a relationship the 50/50 rule should fall, it is your decission and I think you told her that before. I can't imagine in my wildest dreams asking her for more money than she gave us. The venue needs to be wheelchair friendly. It was nice, but not fancy. When I went to prom (and I went twice, sophomore year and senior year), my first dress was 60 (loved that dress). Yeah, it's definitely because it didn't cover deposit refunds, which is the precise thing OP's daughter would have needed. Of course life is getting more expensive but I'm supposed to put that money aside on a savings account And €100 more per month is €1200 more per year and that just seems unfair. I refused to pay the wedding costs for the extra guests that my fiancée will be inviting for our wedding. To the half of the family that thinks that you’re being petty , tell them to pay for it , if they’re so concerned about her dress. " "My younger one got super angry with us and complained Most wedding presents (I. OP's wife still can buy the gifts, she's just butthurt it has to come out of her savings. They need help, so I'm helping. They need help, so you're helping them. Also the children are not yours, not your responsble (yet). I would not even attend her wedding. Lucky_Reality9703. If your sister can afford out of country trips they can afford their own wedding. The decision of whether or not to pay for a daughter’s wedding is a deeply personal one. I got engaged first but her husband is in the military so they had to rush things a little bit and either get married Now we were planning on only getting one pizza with pork on it but the only Jewish friend insisted on not paying their share for that pizza. You are not under an obligation to pay for their wedding. He said that I could borrow the money and I'd pay him back. Yes, saying someone is acting autistic isn't an actual diagnosis nor means that that person is actually autistic, but it's a good way to describe certain types of behaviours that most people understand. Also, my parent in-laws put in a lot of money so we could have a nice wedding (they help us pay for the music and most of the extended family plates). If the other ladies want to split ALL of the bride's share of the expenses amongst themselves without including you, it is their decision to let If anyone in your group kicks up a fuss, just tell them that you don't want to pay for someone else's meal. As far as I'm concerned, offering to pay to clean or the replace the dress makes you NTA. The arrangement was that me, my (at the time) partner, her parents and my parents would pay a quarter of the total cost. I was pregnant. But I don’t want or need 3k worth of anything from her! Not for supplies for my hobby, not as a “credit” for future travel, definitely not for my wedding band, nothing. Step kids (USUALLY) have two living parents who pay out the butt to “share” them. Their entire party, for both, cost me about 200-300 bucks. MOD. The most recent story was that of a person named Paola. Your sister can get married with fewer bells and whistles and without your financial contribution. Out of the blue, my older sister gave us a large, cash wedding gift bc she wanted to help us pay for the wedding and honeymoon. your monthly expenses and how much you need to meet them would convince her. Sep 9, 2023 · NTA. If your friends have a problem with this, stop going out to eat with them. She has not right to claim your wedding money. Sure, they had fancier weddings, that's because they worked for it and could afford it. Issue is that she won’t wear it until she can buy me an engagement present of equivalent value (sister let the $ slip), because otherwise it’s not “fair” to me. After the woman left, my SIL and I cracked up. UPDATE: AITA for not paying for my friends eyelash extensions for her wedding. Let her pay for it - she has offered and honestly she wants good photos - make up is important. Tell everyone that you’ve already told your brother that he doesn’t have to pay for your wedding, so everything is fair. Well if everybody at the party pays their fair share budget should not be a big problem and having 50 actually would make it cheaper then since that way 50 people pay for the bride and not just 20. e. Now, and this is important, I think of spending dad's money on the wedding as a way to honour Seems they are both not wanting to tie the knot. first prom cost about $120. Should've paid attention to what your money was being spent on and 2. Oct 6, 2023 · After I told her she was pretty shocked and asked if I'm making my parents pay for all that. Some people like to take advantage of splitting the bill evenly to eat/drink more and not pay their fair share. NTA not even remotely. Anyways my sister now is getting married and she wants my husband to pay for it. This is an extravagant wedding that your parents are planning without the funds to back it. Reply reply. Now that Ava is engaged she said they’re thinking of organizing the wedding over in Europe; France or Italy. My brother, who is getting married in 2024, can't get insurance for less than £300 per year and what's covered is greatly reduced. Those people are just lucky enough not to need fertility treatments. I am willing to pay for all my children’s wedding if they follow two conditions. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you… Your chose to have a small wedding with those you love. But in reality, the opposite viewpoint to this situation is, “AITA for not inviting [person] to my wedding, but still insisting they pay for the wedding”, which would be ruled YTA. $35-$45 thousand dollars. The weddings were not planned to be so close, it just kind of worked out that way. I feel like him saying you pay for wedding is his way of not getting married becasue you don't have the funds but when you call his bluff and say hey here use our property and get married op wants this huge wedding that would cost a quite a few thousand dollars to find is her way of not getting married. My sister “Anna” brought along her 6-year-old daughter, “Sophie. When our daughter (24) was 17/18 she became involved in a very cliquey group of 27 votes, 24 comments. This is just another story of a weak woman putting a bad man above her family. Children are expensive, yes. It was a joyous occasion with friends and family, and everyone was in high spirits. You are not under an obligation to travel for someone else's wedding. fm/reddit-relationshttps://open. I really struggle to see how the current situation can ever be considered the worst of the two. •. And that includes paying for his parents, and nephew to join us. AITA for paying for my oldest’s dream wedding but not my youngest since she will not do my two conditions. What you choose to do with your money is up to you, but the conditions you’ve attached in this case make you TA. We also make about the same money. My sister helped with my hen weekend a little with organisation and not financially. Like another comment said, small ceremony but big party. Am I the bad one for not paying for a family dinner? I have been working in a hotel for years and over time I have met a wide range of co-workers, some very nice, and others who makes me scream. Anything else is fine and I will fund the wedding. We told her that that’s ridiculous and she should try to pay for her own wedding or get our parents help. Probably important to note that I let them both pay for their weddings and then reimbursed them after the fact (between £20k and £30k). Your mom marrying a man who does not respect you and ignores your requests to stop is not someone you want around you & your family. Whether the wedding is "too extravagant" or not is just an opinion, which you're entitled to hold but shouldn't share unprompted. My sister (26F), on the other hand, has always been more extravagant and inclined towards luxury. You need to back out of this agreement as fast as possible. They will expect you to continue paying also. Here’s the story. 163K subscribers in the AmITheAngel community. They must invite all family unless for an extreme reason. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. They both make good money, well into the six-figure range. AITA for not offering to pay after my niece accidentally ruined my sister’s wedding dress at my barbecue? So, last weekend I threw a big barbecue to celebrate my promotion. Apr 8, 2024 · "AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's extravagant wedding?" I (28F) come from a middle-class family, and I've always been careful with my money. AITA for not "toning down" my expensive wedding? Not the A-hole. I don’t drive and uses public transport or Uber when I have personal work. I wore a family member's wedding dress. Yes obviously. Anyone can DM me for more info though. And don’t respond further. My friend (let's call her Sarah) and I have been tight since high school. He took to Reddit to ask “AITA” for not wanting to pay for his daughter’s dream of a destination wedding 9,000 miles away, calling the affair a “pointless showing of wealth. Her and her husband got mad and told us to pay the $150. One aquaintence who saw it scolded her for selling it, and told how beaautiful she looked wearing it. We are not particularly well off but managed to scrape together almost $30k for each of our children by the time they were mid teens. She said no, and even had the audacity to tell me I didn’t need to come to her wedding at all! I offered $25, then $50. I'm not, they're paying for two of the dresses and the jewelry but my fiancé's parents are paying for my reception dress because they're hosting the reception and my mom's brother paid for my wedding dress because the bride's maternal uncle traditionally pays for the wedding dress. Impossible_Trainer48. Her choice. ADMIN MOD. There is, but it’s expensive. AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's extravagant wedding? I (28F) come from a middle-class family, and I've always been careful with my money. "Fair does not always mean equal- sometimes it means equitable. Im getting married in July, my sister Ash is getting married in June. I paid £100 flat rate for full coverage back in 2019 for my wedding. But everything you have contributed for the wedding alone is BEYOND generous. It's not your responsibility to pay for any of her dress. She then got angry at me saying my wedding was 1000x more expensive and that I had the money and wasn’t being fair. He has encouraged and allowed brother the SIL to mooch off you guys, enough so, despite them whining about not having enough money for a place of their own, they want to take an expensive wedding AITA for not paying for an equally extravagant wedding for my oldest daughter? We have two daughters, Jody who is 26 and Hanna who is 28. NTA. I feel like you just need to compromise. The wedding is nothing too extravagant, but if I didn't have dad's money, fiancé and I would have done something simpler. So 240 dollars is insane for you to cover alone but in the grandscheme of her spending thousands and thousands its nothing - and the photos wont be as special if either hair or make up is not done professionally. If her parents needed help you'd help them too. ***Edit 4: I offered the $5, and didn’t hear back for a couple days. She got mad, said I’d be an asshole reneging on my promise. He pays car payments and insurance and we share fuel charges equally. ” NTA - it's plain to see OP's youngest initiated contact with her parents to get her wedding paid for. Stand your ground OP! NTA. Our wedding cost around 700k, paid by him and his parents. My best friend and maid of honour helped me the most with everything. " First. Posted by u/sellingsoap13 - 50 votes and 80 comments My oldest wedding total was around 85k my middle kids was around 120k. foxyroxy2515. All of them walk out of that with the college degree they wanted and no debt. The wedding planning has been expensive, and stressful. We're having 36 for the ceremony and 80 for the party (not that big for most but that's everyone we know) We also created a list of things we both expected from the wedding and picked things we both knew was important to us. My parents have always spoiled her, and it’s only gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. When she and my brother got married, it was a private ceremony with 17 people including the officiant as guests. This is what me and my partner are doing. Now my kids didn’t know how much each other’s wedding cost as I didn’t share and I guess they didn’t see the need to bring it up. Our parents gave me a flat fee of 10k for a dress which they are giving to my sister too. My mom and I met with a wedding planner for an estimate. My husband was upset and chose to not respond but I lost my shit. Jul 28, 2023 · Aita For Not Paying For My Oldest Daughter’S Wedding Dress . You don't get a say on if your step daughter wants to invite her bio dad to her wedding. So when she got engaged, I was over the moon for her. 11M subscribers in the AmItheAsshole community. She's been planning this wedding for months and has spared no expense, from the designer dress to the luxury venue. ). When I was looking for wedding dresses with her & one of my friends we stopped at a David's Bridal & she said I could only look in the $200 or $400 rack. r/AmItheAsshole. 2. The $15,000 she wants is lot of money. I was shocked and refused. If its a wedding its kind of fair to maybe do 20$ for nice sides and salads and stuff since produce got expensive as hell . In my opinion, it is not your obligation to pay a cent if you don’t want to. The opposite viewpoint I think you’re referring to is, “AITA for not inviting [person] to my wedding” which would be ruled NTA. 2- she lets her dad help you buy the dress - he must owe child support so she'd be taking what she is lawfully and morally due. I took a couple of days after posting to think of how I wanted to proceed and then I took a chance Adorable-Crew-Cut-92. She was given the same amount of money as you and chose to have a big, splashy wedding. I told Ava I am not willing to pay for such an expensive wedding that would require most everyone to take a transatlantic flight, just to take another one back the day after. Dec 21, 2020 · My wife and I told her we were not going to drop 30k to pay for her wedding after she went years of no contact with us. If you're happy to be cordial, get the alterations you need done to the dress, deduct the cost from the $900 and pay what's left back. Reply reply Contest mode is 1. So if you haven't offer to take them out for dinner (which could imply paying for the food), NTA. Even if you were not paying for a wedding, they would not be entitled to your money. "For the lack of a better word" I think people usually say autistic. My (30F) husband (32M) bought a car 4 years ago and it’s registered in his name. Yesterday I was told that they would not be taking my offer to pay to move the retreat and that we’re expected to move the wedding instead. the price to attend a wedding) will cost at least $100, so OP can just pay for the wheelchair and explain why she couldn’t afford to get the chair and get a gift. She got upset and blamed us on them getting such an expensive Airbnb saying that we didn’t update them and that they could of gotten a smaller place. If she alters your dress to fit her, unless you're identical twins with the same body shape, she needs to pay for it to be fitted to you. As to the wedding, perhaps you, your son, and Bianca could talk through what would be a reasonable wedding given your son's social My SO’s son, “Rhett”, is engaged to a wealthy Syrian, Catholic family who’ve been American citizens for nearly 20 yrs. We told her that that’s ridiculous and she should try to pay And so of course you want to formally absolve him of his obligation to help pay for your wedding no matter how much your parents insist. My wife basically paid for most of the wedding because I paid for those expensive tickets so my parent could be at our wedding. UPDATE. The guests were divided into two parties- those in the parking lot drinking smuggled in beers and those trying to dilute the sweet tea with bathroom tap water. lalapocalypse. My little sister Emily's getting married in a few months. It's kind of silly, I know all in all being in the wedding and attending would cost more, it's more that we are expected to pay a lot for a Bachelorette party and not even be a part of the wedding. If she can't pay for a big wedding, then she shouldn't have a big wedding! Learn to budget, people. So my (25f) sister and her (26m) fiancé are lower class (her 170k) (him 110k) student loan debt (interest made it grow crazy) and 18k medical debt and 35k credit May 29, 2024 · I'm a 32-year-old man, and I have a younger sister, who we will call Emily, who is 24. At the core of the story is Aita, a single mother in an ultama, a rural neighbourhood in Mexico where life is hard. My husband and I were paying for our own wedding. She will just have to either find a dress in her budget or find a way to come up with the money to pay for the dress. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. the step sister and fiance can pay for the wedding they can afford or save for one that is better. Paola is a mother and always complains about the difficulties of being a mother. Im sorry for the long reply, this took me way back lol. So the total of our contributions would be unequal. Reply reply AITA for Refusing to Pay for My Brother's Extravagant Birthday Party? Long post ahead, so buckle up. So today I offered $20 as a gesture of good will, without waiting to hear about the $5. You know, the kind where every detail is meticulously planned and executed to ensure a night to remember. Your sister needs to have the wedding she can afford not the one you co pay for, this is outrageous of an expectation. Okay, so here's the deal. ” Reply reply. It turns out Emily's way over budget, and the main culprit is the dress. My second dress was free (my cousin gave it to me. YTA for lying about paying for a wedding, bribing your daughter to not get the wedding she probably wants, and attempting to waylay your daughter because your future SIL’s wants align with yours. We pay nothing. I told her that if my SIL prioritised Both weddings this year were of two of my best friends, I was a groomsman at the first and the best man at the second. So AITA for not wanting to pay equally as much as my brother to the household? r/AmItheAsshole. I offer to pay for this change out of my wedding budget, essentially halving the amount that I can spend on the most important event of my life. They rented an airbnb for one night for $300. . (She's more than a decade older and wealthy). com/show/2l89xgKAdMvuc1XDOVOEzQHi People, thanks Personal-Crazy6637. 1 - you pay for a different dress. With the wedding, you're offering them the wedding they choose without any compromises for cost, and to walk out of it with no debt. I told her that it was not my responsibility to pay for her dress, and that she should either buy a cheaper one or ask our parents for money. AITA for Refusing to Pay for My Friend's Wedding Because She Uninvited Me? Advice Needed. She also asked me to pay for half of her wedding dress, which costs $10,000. Reply. Jul 7, 2023 · It’s around $22,000 that she wants us to pay for. " "Furthermore, my elder two paid for most of their own wedding, we just pitched in about 5k for each of them. I have never heard of a bachelorette party where the MOH is supposed to pay for the whole thing on her own. EDIT: No, my daughter's year of travel does not add up to her brothers tuition fees, not even close. ”. Recently, when the impending wedding was brought up, the bride’s family flatly stated “Where we’re from, the groom’s family pays for everything. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I would assume that regardless of what choices of flavours you have that you should still pay for an equal share for every person based on everyone ultimately eating a similar amount. We've been through everything together – breakups, makeups, you name it. By approaching the situation with empathy, open communication, and a willingness to find solutions, it is possible to navigate this TIP2-take the initiative you can go to the waiter yourself and ask for the bill how you want it, for example “i had the salad and the fanta and will pay for the shared appetizer (garlic bread for the table I Dunno)” BOOM #micdrop#. Still, you can “cash flow” them - unless you need IVF. Same! There was a case not long ago about a bridesmaid who successfully took a bride to small claims and got her money back because she spent a ton of cash and then got cut from the wedding. Hi all! First I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my original post and got me to finally open my eyes to how my "friends" had been treating me. (extra being, any guest over the count of the guests that I'm inviting) 2. 5 hours long on this post. Not your Even if you go to the wedding, you will both be resentful of the other at the wedding and the other bridesmaids and maid of honor will resent you for not contributing more and making them pay more. • 8 mo. And for $6,000, asking for proof that that is how much the dress costs is entirely reasonable. I told her that just because I paid for my own sister's wedding it doesnt mean that I would pay for the wedding of the daughter of the guy she left us for. Being so attentive to finances for a day that is supposed to be a celebration of our love, due to which my fiancée wants to cancel the wedding altogether. He is a jerk who cheats on her and treats her poorly, but she is too blind to see it. Now my youngest is getting married him and his soon to be wife don’t believe in big weddings and total is around 20k. Wrote the user by the name of "Hot-Explanation9228" on Tuesday on the subreddit known as AITA ("Am I the a--hole"), "I am willing to pay for all my children’s wedding[s] if they follow two I told him that I don't want to pay to attend their wedding and that I really don't have the money to spend. My family is just middle class. She fell in love with this designer gown – we're talking thousands of We are willing to do what my parents want but I am unwilling to foot the bill. The reason this action might make me the asshole is because I am not being supportive of my sister's dream wedding and also it may be seen as not caring about her We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. ) Includes costs for nails, shoes, minimal makeup. I had a medium sized wedding (around 100 people). So, my brother recently turned 19, and our family has this tradition of throwing these elaborate birthday parties. I'd say she's not your friend, but you were her ATM. If your parents needed the help, I'd help them too. AITA for not paying for my husbands car payments. 884. I’m not the confrontational type so I just paid and left it be. Tell her that fair does not mean equal, it means equitable. Her friends and her husband have been saying that we are snobby and Dec 20, 2020 · We now also have a podcast, tune in for more stories!https://anchor. If you had refused to do so at the start, it would be different. 3 - you let her dad help you pay for the dress and don't tell her that - any financial agreement between you and Nicholas is between you and Nicholas. My sister in law sold her wedding dress at a garage sale. Recently, my sister got engaged to her long-term boyfriend. Aita for Not Paying for My Oldest Daughter’s Wedding Dress is a heart-rending story of a family struggle against poverty and lack of resources. When my children were born my husband and I were determined to put aside money for their university/weddings/lives. spotify. You're not offering an amount, but a result. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: The action that should be judged is my refusal to pay for my sister's expensive wedding. Whether or not you and your husband can afford it is not the point; she is a greedy bitch. It requires careful consideration of the expectations, the parent-child relationship, and personal financial circumstances. Good point! I am sad to not be in the wedding but I understand their wishes. And it's ridiculous that she would expect a 30k wedding to be paid by OP when he offered his other two 5k each. Each of these weddings I paid for in full. I kept wandering over to other more expensive dresses because I intended to mostly pay for my own dress, adding in her offered contribution to it. He uses the car for his office comments and all his personal work. AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's extravagant wedding? "since my step sister and her fiancee are not very well to do, I should help them. Youngest goes to a public liberal arts college - $20K. If we go to the resort we have picked out it will cost like $10,000. My sister asked me to contribute a significant amount of money towards her wedding, which is already going to be incredibly expensive. Don’t give mom a penny for her wedding. Not the A-hole. I am just sensitive and think it's just more improper. Money is tight and OP (imo rightfully) think it's an extravagant expense, so doesn't want to pay up for it. They are not entitled to your money. OP is NTA here, but many people that have children don’t have $25k upfront in cash to pay for IVF. Your husbands attitude is shitty as well. This is my second marriage, and in my first wedding, my (at the time) future in laws and my parents paid an equal financial percentage of the wedding. It’s £22000 that she wants us to pay for. I don’t mind helping family, but this situation has gone too far. Later that day his mom called and told us to postpone the wedding 6 months so his sister could attend it and if we don’t then she wouldn’t attend either, and that her daughters pregnancy is a bigger event than our “STUPID” marriage. mentally_messy102518. an qy zw jo hx rq vd jv dx tn